Why can't I fit in? Navigating your early weeks at UoB
Robin is a third-year PGR student at the University of Birmingham who brings a unique perspective to student life. In this blog, he shares some warm, practical advice for anyone finding their place at UoB — no matter their background or style.
I know I’m probably not the most typical student at UoB. Although I’m now into my 3rd year, I not only have the dress sense of a thirteen year old but someone who was thirteen 55 years ago — triple denim and boots
What I can say, though, is that it is possible for anyone to fit into UoB if they just keep a few key things in mind.
- You already belong! If you think about it, the friends you made at school were most probably the ones you met most often during your normal day. It’s just the same here at Uni. Although the Freshers’ Events are designed to get things started, in reality most of the longest lasting friendships will come from the relatively few people you meet most often day to day — in lectures and small seminar groups. They’re your natural UoB family; there’s no need to look elsewhere at this stage.
- Be patient! Long-lasting friendships take time to make — they don’t happen overnight. If you think about it, your best friends at school are the ones you gradually grew up with: the ones who were there for you when you messed up; the ones who celebrated most loudly when you succeeded. It’s exactly the same at UoB. Just. Give. It. Time.
- Be yourself! Although it’s human nature to dress and act like the rest of the ‘herd’, you don’t have to. I never do — I dress in ways that make me feel happy and, you know, that’s often how casual conversations start. “I love your triple denim!”; “Wow! I didn’t know they did purple UoB hoodies!” So, next time you catch yourself worrying about dressing like everyone else (so you’ll somehow “fit in”) remember: if you actually want to get noticed then wearing what you like is a good way of going about it.
As a 68 year old male, I’m very much an extra-mature vintage student at UoB and it isn’t easy to make friends. I have a few, and each of those is special to me. One thing is certain though: of all the places I’ve worked, the UoB campus really is one of the most caring and inclusive to all-comers.
So — Welcome to UoB! You already belong here — just give it time for the friendships to grow.