Blog: Navigating university as a student with autism

Hi, I’m Eleanor, and I’m a first-year Human Sciences student at UoB. I am also autistic, prone to overthinking and easily overwhelmed.

Coming to terms with these things as I move through university has been painful at times, but it’s also the most important lesson I have learnt so far, and I would love to share it with you in this blog.

Eleanor is standing in front of Old Joe in the snow.

My expectations

I had unreasonably high expectations of university. I was diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder when I was 17, and at the time, the best thing about this was that it explained why I had spent most of secondary school feeling like a failure. I began to understand, and more importantly forgive, myself and my differences, but I still held onto the feeling that at university, my life would change. I would move away, make friends, go out. I would be noticed and included. My social awkwardness would evaporate, my energy would be limitless, and I would do all the things there were to be done as a typical university student.

Reality

It’s not that my expectations were utterly unrealised… I know who I am, I have made friends, and I love being a Human Sciences student. But I’m still autistic, and that’s a big part of me. This has meant that instead of moving away from home, I commute (a long way), keep to myself, and come home tired and overwhelmed.

University is amazing, and I’m so grateful for the opportunity to be here. But I’ve had to accept that many aspects of the university experience are inaccessible for me. I am surrounded by a whole lot of people who are also ‘doing university’, and it’s hard not to assume that they are doing it better than me. I see all those groups of friends I never end up in, hear all the conversations I wish I could have, and I am still mourning that loss.

Eleanor is wearing a green rain jacket and smiling with her thumbs up.

In my own time and space

In the Māori language, the word for autism means ‘in their own time and space’. I love this concept, but moving through university in your own time and space is a difficult thing to get right. You are bombarded by opportunities at university: work experience, years abroad, volunteering, society socials, and summer trips. The list of ‘could do’ is overwhelming. And there is such a huge number of things I can’t do, or don’t want to do, or don’t have the energy to do that it’s easy to feel left behind.

Acceptance

That is why I think acceptance is so important. I’m learning to accept that I am autistic, that my friendships look different, and that a large proportion of my productive hours are lost to executive dysfunction (although this can be extremely frustrating!).

I’m doing life in my own time and space and that is absolutely ok. I’m at university. I work as a lifeguard. I can drive. I go on the occasional walk with the Wayfarers Hiking Society. I’ve travelled on my own, and I’m going to Turkey in September!

Eleanor sits on top of a rock dressed in rock climbing gear.

My advice to other autistic students

Try to understand yourself and your limits, so you don’t end up trying to fix what doesn’t need fixing. Particularly if you are neurodivergent – don’t berate yourself for working differently.

Be brave, but in the right places. Know your values and use them to work out what opportunities to take, and don’t be disheartened if some things seem beyond you right now.

Try to be accepting of yourself. It’s ok if this feels really hard.

You will get exactly where you need to be – in your own time and space.

And of course, talk about it; it really does help!

I’m still grieving that unrealised version of me, that 19-year-old university student with it all sorted. But actually, no one has it all sorted. We’re all just moving forward, in our own space and our own time.

Visit our Student Disability Service pages to find out about support available for students with a disability at UoB.