Blog: How I met my friends at uni

Hi! I’m Alice, a Digital Media and Communications student going into my second year here at UoB. I’ve always been what my mum has called a ‘slow burner’ when it comes to making friends. I find it easy connecting with people on a surface level but making those deeper connections that set you up with your university besties is not my forte. So, I was really nervous about making new friends at university. 

My first few weeks

Despite this, my first few weeks at UoB were much easier than I expected. My family and friends reminded me time and again that everyone is in the same boat when starting university which really encouraged me to get stuck in with Welcome Week activities. I met so many new people all looking for someone to chat to or go to events with and, whilst these people might only have been friends in passing, these positive interactions made me feel so much more confident about my ability to make friends, initiate conversations, and attend activities. 

Joining societies

This initial boost in confidence helped me hugely in making my next steps towards finding friends. As scary as it initially seems, joining societies really helps.  

If you’re a little more introverted, like me, opting for smaller groups is a brilliant way to meet people who you can have meaningful interactions with, without the presence of an overwhelming social setting. For example, I joined the Art society where there was only ever 20 of us in the room at once and you could only fit 4 or 5 people on a table, so chatting felt relaxed and less intimidating than larger societies.  

I also tried to join societies that resonate with my interests, such as my faculty netball group, because these are the places in which I feel most like myself and find it easier to connect with like-minded people. This felt like a good balance between pushing myself outside of my comfort zone whilst doing something I was familiar with. Now that I’ve built my confidence making friends through these smaller groups, joining societies that I wouldn’t normally opt for or that are much bigger feels less daunting. 

Making meaningful connections

Creating weekly traditions also helped me hugely in finding my closest friends. In my first year, there were people I instantly clicked with but wasn’t sure how to develop my friendships with them (this is the ‘slow burner’ in me). I found that the best way for me was to introduce weekly activities in which we’d go to each other’s flats to bake, have a movie night or we’d go to a society together. This meant that there was a set period every week in which I had the opportunity to develop my friendships by chatting, laughing, and having open conversations.  

I found this especially helpful as someone who doesn’t drink or go out regularly because it allowed me to create deeper connections in spaces where I felt comfortable. If you want to give this a go, choose an activity that you and your friend enjoy equally so that it’s something you both look forward to and want to create time for. Once you make a close friend, I would recommend tagging along with them to events to meet their other friends. I find this a wonderful way to make new friends because it’s very likely that you have things in common! You also have a safety net; a close friend you can go to if you feel awkward. 

Take your time

You’re bound to find your people at university but remember that this takes time and that’s okay. It can also take a lot more time than you’d expect. Be patient, be persistent and try your best not to get too discouraged because friendships don’t form overnight. Sometimes you’ll feel lonely, and this is completely natural, but if you find it too much, remember that you can always reach out to the University’s services on 'Time To Talk?'.